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she told me about the inner-city hospital
it was near christmas and i was very early
one month to be exact
she likes to remind me:
“i could fit your whole butt in the palm of my hand”
mothers are awesome

i think i was like four pounds
i think i was also quite yellow
they had to put me in an incubator
i was there for a while

turns out she had gone on a few dates with my dad eight months prior
he was a musician
and he played darts
and he worked in construction
and he had some strong swimmers
and he had kind eyes

she says the nurses brought me to the room in a Christmas stocking
but that the stocking disappeared
apparently i peed on the nurse or the doctor after birth
my mom says that the lady said:
“good little boys don’t do that” 
and that she replied:
“well he just did!” – epic

my mom hid her pregnancy out of fear
she was newly divorced and wasn’t sure who my dad was
she hid it so well that she was the only person who knew
i guess she wore baggy clothes back then

i’ve told these things to people before
and almost everyone asks me the same thing:
“how does all of this make you feel?”
easy question
that it’s tragic my mom felt she had to hide at all
that she should never have been made to feel like she had to
that society really sucks sometimes

so she dated around a bit after getting out of a horrible marriage
who hasn’t slept around after a bad breakup?
so she got pregnant, big deal
it was her body after all
hell, i’m glad she did
i like being alive

i’m glad she told me these things
because i’ve always known my mom is a badass
the only open question is how i got my name

my mom says:
she named me after her uncle who was two-days old when he died

my aunt says: 
she named me because my mom was out of it and they needed a name because they thought i was going to die and she chose my name because it was what she had wanted to call her son but her husband wouldn’t allow it

but what’s a name matter?
i write under a pseudonym anyway