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ars
i don’t recall how we got paired up
but i am so happy that we did
first year at boy scout camp and
i got to spend it with someone like you
neither of us prone to sporty shit
both much more something, something
from that moment we’ve been together
even when living far far apart

our antics will live as internal legends
like mocking fools over Y2K
or being rightly scolded for mocking fools over Y2K
or beating around alphabet city
or a trip to sanoma or athens or ...
... ok we need to travel more: my fault
love, antics, more than thirty years aside...
...it's our joint honesty that means the most to me

i know deep inside that i'm here today
because you came into my life back then
my dear friend, i love you so
the ideal person with whom to grow old



flames
hailed from eastern shores
water-born but made of flame
a humble fire with familial heart
spreading cinder with two…
…fires spun thus far
you say you’re done but i am not sure
a love-pyro burning down adversity
and spreading warmth everywhere
smiling over a plate of scrapple and…
…a cart full of trinkets from some discount store
a smile i see in the back of my mind…
…every day – good or bad
it makes the good, better
it makes the bad, manageable
if your arms were long enough
just a bit longer
you’d give the whole world a hug and…
…it would all be better



buttens
a full description is impossible
like documenting a cool breeze
with eyes like cool daylight
resplendent with sapphic love
fierce protector – sister strong
joyously playful with biting wit
mere words cannot bring proper
that which is made for loving song



-at bat-
we are alike but in the way that many introverts are alike
but some of my favorite things about you are where we differ
not like some other folks i might mention
in good ways
you laugh at my jokes…
…and it’s genuine: i can tell
you smile when you see me
that warms my heart
we support each other through hard times…
…and with you, it doesn’t feel like work
maybe because it seems so real to me
and not invented for attention

every time i see you, i find…
…something else about you to love
the other day you said:
“i try hard to be the dad for my kids that i always wanted growing up”
who couldn’t love that?
i will always try your new bread creations
i will always make cookies with you
i will always watch sports i don’t care about with you…
…though i will probably fall asleep
you owe me a baseball game after all!
Baltimore soon!

only two things over the last five years have made me feel at home:
having my mom nearby
and having you nearby
thank you for being my friend



boyish smile
to say you were one of the most beautiful people i have ever known still somehow does you a disservice. infinitely supportive and frustrating in equal measure over around fifteen years of making some seriously bad choices. yet the constant was us. us. us. i miss us very much. together so much that people always assumed we were dating. as if that would have happened! how we used to laugh at the idea. how ridiculous we thought they all were. i will remember you always when pop music plays and picture your sneer when i say something in a much more complicated way than was really necessary. i hope you know i used to do that just so you would make that sneer. it was a very cute one. with you it was pad see ew with Chinese broccoli and light beer and endless singing and a completely ridiculous, horrendously ridiculous amount of laughing. i miss you...
that's it, i can't say anymore